Celebrity Jepordy
by A.C.P
Summary: Oh, I am SO back! I've continued this series, after seeing that it had over 40 reviews, and 6 people with it on favorites! I hope I continue to live up to your standards with the chapters following! Fifth episode up! Enjoy! ^_^
1. Week One, Day One

Author's note: I do not own Gundam Wing or any affiliated charicters or franchises. I do not own  
Jepordy, that is the property of NBC, I think... All of these Author's Notes will be in , all  
thoughts will be in (), all sounds and music will be in ** and all words will be typed in letters.  
  
*Jepordy theme*  
  
Announcer: Welcome to another episode of Celebrity Jepordy! Now here's your host, Alex Trebek!  
  
Alex Trebek: Thank you and welcome to another painful edition of Celebrity Jepordy. Tonight we have  
with us three members of the anime "Gundam Wing" let's meet them.... If we must. First we have with  
us Quatre Winner, who I cannot pronounce your middle name.  
  
Quatre: It's a pleasure to be here, Alex. I love you all! I really do!  
  
Alex Trebek: Okay... calm down... Next we have Wufei Chang..  
  
Wufei: IT'S CHANG WUFEI!!!  
  
Alex: .....Whatever... Finally, we have Duo Maxwell.  
  
Duo: What do YOU want?!  
  
Alex: Nothing... I was just introducing you.  
  
Duo: That's what you always say.  
  
Alex: ......Right. Let's move on to our categories, they are; Potent Potables, Things That Are Sticky  
Numbers, The Wonderous Alphabet, Fast Food Restarunts, Sharp Objects, Album Covers, and Months that  
Have 28 Days. Duo, you, regretfully, won the coin toss, so you get to pick.  
  
Duo: I'd have it no other way. I'll take The Wonderous Alphabet for 200, you bastard.  
  
Alex: That was unneccary. The answer is, This letter comes after "B"  
  
*Beep*  
  
Alex: Wufei?  
  
Wufei: Flordia.  
  
Alex: .....No...  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Quatre?  
  
Quatre: WHAT IS Flordia.  
  
Alex: ..........That was just guessed.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: *sigh* Duo?  
  
Duo: WHERE is Flordia.  
  
Alex: Dammit, no! The answer is C. C comes after B... Duo, pick again.  
  
Duo: I'll take sharp objects for 400.  
  
Alex: The answer is, This object sounds like "Nife"  
  
*Silence*  
  
Alex: I just said the answer. It sounds like "Nife"  
  
*Silence*  
  
*Boop, boop*  
  
Alex: .......The answer was knife. Knife sounds like nife.  
  
Duo: Well, NOW it seems obvious.  
  
Alex: ....Duo... please pick.  
  
Duo: This one has me baffled, could you explain the properties behind the Anal Bum Covers?  
  
Alex: The WHAT?! ......no...... um...no.... That's ALBUM COVERS.  
  
Duo: Well, that's not what I asked. I asked about the anal bum covers.  
  
Alex: ...... There is no such thing.  
  
Duo: I bet there is somewhere.  
  
Alex: Well it's not here! The answer is, The Beatles' White album, was this color.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Quatre?  
  
Quatre: The answer, of course, is the movie Jaws.  
  
Alex: ......That makes absolutely no sense.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Wufei?  
  
Wufei: What are your theories on quantum physics?  
  
Alex: That's not important right now!  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Oh hooray. Duo wants to say something.  
  
Duo: I still want to know about those Anal Bum Covers.  
  
Alex: There are none! Errrrghhh... Let's move on to Final Jepordy. The category is, you know what?  
Forget the categories. Just write down where you are right now. Where ever you are now.  
  
*Music begins to play*  
  
Alex: Could be a number of things. A game show. A TV studio. Earth. Perhaps the word "here" I've just  
given you the answers, you shouldn't be able to get them wrong.  
  
*Music ends*  
  
Alex: Let's start with Quatre. What did you write? ...You wrote all the correct answers to the previous  
questions. Fantastic. You wagered.... What appears to be a picture of half of a horse.  
  
Quatre: His name is Lance.  
  
Alex: ...... Very good. Now on to Wufei, what did you write? ....You drew a picture of a toilet.  
  
Wufei: You got a problem?  
  
Alex: ....Your wager? ...You wrote "fart"  
  
Wufei: HAHA! Alex Trebek said fart!!!! AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Alex: I want to shoot you in the head. Next we have Duo. What did you write? You wrote... my god, you  
wrote indoors. That's amazing. A correct answer. What did you wager? ...I heart boobs...  
  
Duo: HAHA!  
  
Alex: Great. Well, this ends another game of Celebrity Jepordy, I'm going home and hanging myself.  
good night.  
  
*Jepordy music starts to play* 


	2. Week One, Day Two

Author's Note: Oh, why not? Let's do another one. As before, I don't own Gundam Wing, I don't own  
Jepordy, Jepordy belongs to whoever it belongs to, and Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, I think... anyway  
on with the funny  
  
*Jepordy music plays*  
  
Alex Trebek: Hello and welcome to another edition of Celebrity Jepordy. I didn't want to do another one  
but The company forced me. Moving along, tonights guests are Duo Maxwell, again.  
  
Duo: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! What do I have on store for you tonight, eh?! You don't know!! AHHAHAHA! Alex Trebek  
doesn't know! HAHA!  
  
Alex: Yes, fine. Secondly, we have here tonight, Trowa Barton. Hello.  
  
Trowa: ...................  
  
Alex: ..Um.. quite... finally, we have a Heero Yuy here. If you don't mind me saying, your name is quite  
odd.  
  
Heero: What's it to you?  
  
Alex: ...Oh no. Not two of the little beasts... Let's move on, this should be a lot of fun. Our categories  
are: Potent Potables, Famous Titles, Mhjongg, Names, Objects you shouldn't put in your mouth, things that  
are not compatable with a toaster, and finally, colors that end in "Urple" Trowa, you won the toss, please  
pick a category.  
  
Trowa: .................Four.  
  
Alex: Four? Oh... Names. How much?  
  
Trowa: .................Four.  
  
Alex: I guess you mean 400. The answer is, people named "Bill" have this name.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Heero?  
  
Heero: Only if you say your sorry about my name.  
  
Alex: What?  
  
Heero: You said that my name is stupid. I want you to say that you're sorry.  
  
Alex: Okay... I'm sorry.  
  
Heero: Thank you. You may go about your buisness.  
  
*boop boop*  
  
Alex: ..........Anyone else?  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Duo?  
  
Duo: Who is Bill?  
  
Alex: Pardon?  
  
Duo: Who is Bill.  
  
Alex: That's... my god... that's correct.... I suppose you choose now...  
  
Duo: Well met. I'll take Famous Tities for five hundred.  
  
Alex: WHAT?!?!?! No... that's Famous TITLES.  
  
Duo: Whatever... give it to me.  
  
Alex: Alright.... This...  
  
*beep*  
  
Duo: Pamela Anderson.  
  
Alex: Dammit... this is Famous TITLES..... Let me finish the answer. This movie proved to us that, yes  
cannonballs can run.  
  
*silence*  
  
Alex: Cannonballs can run...  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Thank god..... Trowa?  
  
Trowa: .................................................................................  
  
*boop boop*  
  
Alex: ...You are an idiot. The answer was Cannonballs Can Run. Duo, pick.  
  
Duo: I'll take Colors that end in "Urple" for five hundred.  
  
Alex: Okay. This color ends in "Urple"  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Heero?  
  
Heero: What is light urple?  
  
Alex: ......No....  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Duo?  
  
Duo: Hm? Oh, no. I just wanted to make sure that the buzzer still worked.  
  
Alex: ........And it's time for final Jepordy..... The category is, Horsies. All you have to do is tell me  
Are Horsies pretty?  
  
*Music starts*  
  
Alex: Yes, or No. We'll accept either answer. Horsies. For the sake of tradition, let's look a the answers  
Duo, you're first, you wrote... I suppose that's your wager... a Buck... Okay. Your answer? Futter. What?  
Buck Futter. I don't get it.  
  
Duo: I bet you do you Canadian schmuck! HAHA!!!!  
  
Alex: I hate you. moving on. Heero, you wrote... and your podium is gone.  
  
Heero: I just turned around and it was gone.  
  
Alex: ........Sure. finally, we have Trowa. Your answer?  
  
Trowa: ...........................  
  
Alex: It appears you wrote dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. I hate to ask... what did you wager?  
It seems to be more dots with a four at the end.  
  
Trowa: .....................Four.  
  
Alex: Super. Anyway, this concludes another episode of Celebrity Jepordy, I quit. Goodnight.  
  
*Jepordy music plays* 


	3. Week One, Day Three

*Jepordy Music starts playing*  
  
Alex Trebek: Hello and welcome to another epidode of Celebrity Jepordy. If you idiots out there didn't watch  
the show, I wouldn't be in this mess. Tonight's panelists are Duo Maxwell.  
  
Duo: I'll never let you go... I will follow you to the ends of the earth...  
  
Alex: For some reason, I can't sue you for that. Next we have Luc... Luc... ermm.... Noin here today.  
  
Noin: I could SO kick your ass.  
  
Alex: I would like to remind our contestants that I have a lot more money than them. Finally we have Relena  
Peacecraft/Dorlan.  
  
Relena: Good to be here, Alex.  
  
Alex: What? Wow. Didn't see thaqt coming. Let's take a look at our categories. They are; Potent Potables,  
What Ears Do, Is This A Hat?, One-Letter Words, Rhold Dahl, he's a writer, you'll all probably be more familiar  
with our next category, Shiny Objects, Large Gaseous Planets, and finally Months That Start With "Feb" Duo, you  
won the toss, please pick.  
  
Duo: The day is mine! I'll take Road Dole, you stupid freak.  
  
Alex: That's Rhold Dahl, and screw you. The answer is, Rhold Dahl writes books, he is therefore this.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: .....Duo.....  
  
Duo: He was a construction worker.  
  
Alex: No.  
  
Duo: But his name is Road!  
  
Alex: No it isn't....  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Noin?  
  
Noin: Could I kick his ass?  
  
Alex: .....No.....  
  
Noin: Care for me to kick your ass?  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: .......Relena?  
  
Relena: What is an author?  
  
Alex: Pardon?  
  
Relena: What is an author?  
  
Alex: ....that's....right... pick again, I suppose.  
  
Relena: I'll take Is This A Hat for 500.  
  
Alex: Okay. Is this a hat?  
  
*Holds up a clock-radio*  
  
*beep*  
  
Duo: No.  
  
Alex: ....Incorrect.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Noin?  
  
Noin: Does that thing even have an ass I could kick?  
  
Alex: No it doesn't.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Relena?  
  
Relena: That is not a hat, it is a clock radio.  
  
Alex: Yes... yes it is... thank you.... pick again.  
  
Relena: I'll take Potent Potables, please.  
  
Alex: No you won't....  
  
*trapdoor opens below Relena*  
  
Alex: No one will ever take that category... Duo! Pick!  
  
Duo: HAHA! The bitch is dead! I'll take Large Gassy Plants for 200.  
  
Alex: That's large GASEOUS PLANETS. The answer is this large gaseous planet rhymes with "Moopiter"  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Duo?  
  
Duo: A leather glove.  
  
Alex: No.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Noin?  
  
Noin: Assassassassassassass  
  
Alex: Shut the hell up. Let's just move on to Final Jepordy. The category is... no. No. Just write anything.  
All you have to do is make some kind of mark on the screen.  
  
*Music starts*  
  
Alex: Nothing specific, just put a line, a shape.... If you even know what a shape is...  
  
*Music ends*  
  
Alex: For the sheer hell of it, let's look at the answers, Duo you wrote... Below... don't... know why, but that  
is a right answer. You wagered... me. Below me. I don't get it.  
  
Duo: Oh.. I bet you do Trebek. I bet you do indeed.  
  
Alex: Let's mo...  
  
Duo: BUCK FUTTER!!!  
  
Alex: Shut up! Noin I don't care what you wrote. You lost.  
  
Noin: What?! I'm gonna kick your ass!  
  
Alex: Security.  
  
*Burley guys rush up and apprehend Noin*  
  
Noin: Hey... you guys are pretty good lookin' ... care to have dinner with me in prison?  
  
Alex: On that disturbing thought, Duo has managed to be the last contestant left alive.  
  
Duo: I WIN!  
  
Alex: Please DON'T tune in next time for more Jepordy...  
  
*Jepordy music plays* 


	4. Week One, Day Four

*Jepordy music plays*  
  
Alex Trebek: Hello, welcome to another episode of Celebrity Jepordy, all you idiots out there who tuned in to  
yesterday's show are the real reason I'm here. Damn you all. Our contestants tonight are Duo Maxwell.  
  
Duo: We meet again.  
  
Alex: He's here even though I specifically asked him to not be here... Next we have someone from a different  
show, which is quite odd, we have here with us Mihoshi... no last name given. Hm. Welcome to the show.  
  
Mihoshi: It'sreallygreattobehereI'mveryhypertodaysodon'tmindmetoomuchI'lljustbeplayingthe... *deep breath*  
niceyummygameyoulaidoutforusdidImentionIamablond?  
  
Alex: I'm in way over my head.... Finally we have with us Mi....Mi... Mil... Zechs Marquise.  
  
Zechs: I probably hate you.  
  
Alex: Hoo-boy.... The categories tonight are, Potent Potables, Literature, which is a big word for books.  
Things You Shouldn't Put In Your Mouth, Current U.S. Presidents, Famous Last Words, Oddities, Large Breasts..  
wait..  
  
Duo: HAHA!  
  
Alex: ....Let's just leave it at those. We only do about four anyway. Duo, please pick.  
  
Duo: I'll take Large Breasts for 7,000!  
  
Alex: That's not a real category and I can't give that much money!  
  
Duo: I don't care! Fine, fine. Just surprise me you filthy bastard.  
  
Alex: Must be a proud day for your family. Famous Last Words for 300. The answer is These were Albert Einstein's  
last words.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Duo?  
  
Duo: What is Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.  
  
Alex: ...no.. that was John F. Kennedy.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Mihoshi?  
  
Mihoshi: YouknowthisgameisreallyintimidatingformesoI'mgoingonabitofaguesshereIwouldhavetosaythattheanswerisprobably  
thecorrectanswerthatsomeonewouldknowIdon'tknowtheanswerbutIbetKionewouldshe'srealsmartandprettyandsmartandpretty.  
  
Alex: You should be put out of your misery.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Zechs?  
  
Zechs: I shall take over the Earth and then all will bow down to me even though that's not really what I want.  
  
Alex: .......No one cares. Duo, pick again.  
  
Duo: Current U.S. Presidents for 500. Make it snappy!  
  
Alex: God damn I hate you. The answer is, he is the current U.S. President.  
  
*silence*  
  
Alex: He has white hair and you've probably seen him in the news. His first name is George.  
  
*silence*  
  
Alex: ....His father was president. His last name is Bush. His name is George W. Bush. Someone please say George W.  
Bush.  
  
*silence*  
  
*beep beep*  
  
Alex: Good lord. Duo.. pick again.  
  
Duo: The day is mine! I'll take Oddities for 100.  
  
Alex: This is the name for a head that floats.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Duo?  
  
Duo: What is a flying fuck?  
  
Alex: WHAT?! NO!!!!  
  
Duo: He could have been a jackass in his life!  
  
Alex: ....Judges?  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: I guess you got it.  
  
Duo: HAHA! I AM THE MASTER OF ALL!!!  
  
Alex: ....and it's time for Final Jepordy... The category is Bodies of Water. This body of water gave Salt LAKE City  
it's name.  
  
*Music plays*  
  
Alex: I have told you the answer once again, but you'll probably find some way to get it wrong.  
  
*music ends*  
  
Alex: Oh whoopie, we get to see what they wrote. Duo, we'll start with you, you wrote ...my name. That's.... nice.  
You wagered... is a fu..... okay.. that's some kind of swear word...  
  
Duo: Too afraid to say it dookie neck?  
  
Alex: On to Zechs, who has appeared to have turned his podium into a weapon of war.  
  
Zechs: I shall rule the earth! *flies away on his podium*  
  
Alex: .........................That's a new one. Finally, Mihoshi, who has wandered off somewhere. Let's see what she  
wrote. It appears to be letters of some sort, but they are small and blurry... I can't quite make them out... well,  
what'd she wager? a picture of half of a penny. Fabulous. Well, security is looking for the escapee, and we're out of time.  
Until next time, I'm Alex Trebek, and I want everyone to know that my life is a lot worse than yours. Goodnight. 


	5. Week One, Day Five

*Jeopardy music plays*  
  
Alex Trebek: Hello, and welcome to another gut-wrenching episode of Celebrity Jeopardy. Tonight, there appears to be some sort of bet going around that I will have a fatal brain aneyurism. Let's hope for the best. Tonight, we have... Once again... Duo Maxwell.  
  
Duo: Never leave me open, son... 'Cause I'll hit it every time...  
  
Alex: I beseech you, don't break TOO many copyrights tonight.  
  
Duo: You want a piece of me?! I didn't think so!!  
  
Alex: I never answered. Next, we have a faceless shlub named Gary. Hello Gary.  
  
Gary: Hello, Alex. I'm glad to be here tonight to make sure that hope shall be spread throughout the colonies and that peace will finally preva...  
  
Alex: Please shut up. Finally, we have... Just says... Lady Une...  
  
Une: And it'll stay that way, if you value your life...  
  
Alex: Hm... I see something scratched out... looks like a first name...  
  
Une: Say it and you die...  
  
Alex: Mi... Mi... Mid... I can't make it out completely.  
  
*Lady Une mumbles various obsenities*  
  
Alex: Right, well, time to start this flurry of pain that is my job. Our categories are; Potent Potables, Computer Parts, Trebek's Mom and Her Bedtime Activities... Okay... Did Duo get into the control room again?  
  
*Duo is sprawled on the floor laughing*  
  
Alex: Continuing on... Change that damn category.... Thank you. Crackers and Chips, Various Plants, Presidents, Colors, and finally, Things That Involve the Letter "L". That category is all about things that involve the letter "L".  
  
*The panelists gain a look of realization*  
  
Alex: I still can't believe I have to explain some of these.... Anyway, Gary, you won the coin toss, you're up first.  
  
Gary: Check out this cool watch I got!  
  
*Gary runs up to the camera and shoves his watch in the lens*  
  
Alex: Sit down! No one cares about your watch!  
  
Duo: I care about his watch...  
  
Alex: No you don't. You just want to get back at me.  
  
Duo: What's you're point?  
  
Alex: ... Presidents for 300. The answer is.... The state of "Washington" was named after this U.S. President.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: ....Duo?  
  
Duo: Who is George Washington?  
  
*silence*  
  
Alex: Good lord... That... That's correct... Duo, pick again....  
  
Duo: Ha ha... I'll take... Things that Involve the Letter "L" for 100.  
  
Alex: Really?  
  
Duo: Yep.  
  
Alex: ....I'm speechless. Anyway, the answer is This soup is often made with small beans of the same name.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Gary?  
  
Gary: My watch is very shiny!!!  
  
Alex: ........  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Duo?  
  
Duo: What is lentel?  
  
Alex: .... Are you finally taking this game seriously?!  
  
Duo: Yes indeedy!  
  
Alex: That's amazing, Duo! Please, pick again!  
  
*Time passes...*  
  
Alex: Okay, we only have two questions left, and Duo leads with $43,300. Duo, it is your turn, pick a category!  
  
Duo: I'll take... Cars for 1000.  
  
Alex: Certainly! The answer is, This type of car was designed for single college students.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Une?  
  
Une: I am one... I am two... I am the enigma... I am God... I am Satan...  
  
*boop boop*  
  
Alex: You continue to frighten me.  
  
Une: Une is not here... This is Patrica... Patrica feeds off humans...  
  
Gary: MY WATCH BROKE!  
  
*Gary breaks down and cries*  
  
Alex: Right. There is only one question left, Duo, you get it.  
  
Duo: Right.  
  
Alex: Here is Franks and Beans for 400. The answer is, This brand of hot dog supposedly "plumps when you cook 'em".  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Gary?  
  
Gary: That guy that tried to take me on when I was in that Tarus.  
  
Alex: ....No.  
  
*beep*  
  
Alex: Duo?  
  
Duo: What is Ball Park Franks?  
  
Alex: That is correct! It looks like it's time for Final Jeopardy, let's get the topic. The topic is "Favorite Foods". Just write down your favorite food.  
  
*music plays*  
  
Alex: It is almost impossible to get a wrong answer, you can say anything. You can even lie and I'll take it. Favorite foods.  
  
*music stops*  
  
Alex: Lady Une, we'll start with you, you wrote, Decayed human flesh. That... unfortunately counts. Your wager? Two chickens and a horse.  
  
Une: I AM THE IRON CHEF!!!!  
  
Alex: ....Beautiful. Next, we have Gary, who...  
  
Gary: Don't bother. I drew a picture of my watch.  
  
Alex: Good job. Finally, we have Duo, who... looks mighty pleased with himself, and who has 46,700, a new record for Celebrity Jeopardy, that is in the positive numbers. He wrote....  
  
*Alex Trebek sighs*  
  
Alex: He wrote, Fooled you. He wagered? ........ $46,700.  
  
*Duo breaks into maniacal laughter*  
  
Alex: Just when I thought life had meaning.  
  
Duo: DAH HA!  
  
Alex: Fantastic. Well, that's the end of this week's Jeopardy, I'm Alex Trebek, and I beg you to get them to stop making these. Goodnight. 


End file.
